Idiot Girl 1: "I must be really weird, but I cannot stand Justin Timberlake." Cue my interest. How could I NOT listen in after hearing such insanity??
Idiot Girl 2: "Oh my gosh! You know my friend Crazy-Face (names have been changed to protect the crazy) that went to LSU? Well he was filming that baseball movie there and she was an extra. She said that Jessica Biel was there everyday throughout filming, but she stayed in the trailer the whole time. He was OBVIOUSLY flirting with Crazy-Face right in front of the trailer the whole time! She said he was all over her. He's such a man-whore and I hate him now."
Idiot Girl 3: "Ewww I need to stop liking him!! I wonder if Crazy-Face made that up, though."
Idiot Girl 2: "No, I believe her. My daddy always liked her and he doesn't like anyone so that means she's trustworthy."
If I turned around and talked to them, this is what I would have said.
"Hi, Idiot Girls. First of all, your friend Crazy-Face is a lying slore. But even if, on the off off off chance that he hit on her, he's not a man-whore now. Have you never listened to Mirrors?! But back to Crazy-Face. They don't just let the extras (and let's face it, in that movie the extras were the people sitting in the stands at the games, she probably didn't even make it in the movie) just hang around the trailers. (If they do, don't tell me. It would ruin my defense.) She probably saw him off in the distance once and thought that it would sound really cool if she told people that she met him and he hit on her. And then when that didn't happen and he didn't once glance her way, she went further and made up a bigger story that he was all over her in front of his girlfriend so that everyone would hate him. NOT WORKING. I STILL LOVE HIM."
So maybe I still like him a little too much - that just reminded me of getting in fights at age 13 over who was better, BSB or NSYNC. NSYNC, duhhhhhh. But I knew they were lying when I heard this portion of the convo.
Idiot Girl 2: "But anyways, he would have hit on me more because I'm much prettier than her. Hey, Idiot Girl 3, I AM much prettier than her, right? Do you see me glaring at you like, you better tell me I am or I'll cut you?"
I am not making that up, it really honest-to-God happened. Then they got up and left in her BMW that daddy bought her.
On a side-note, if these 5 glorious man-boys don't appear together on the VMA's, I'll just be over here watching my Live at Madison Square Garden DVD on repeat. Digital digital get down, just you and me.
oh lance, how we didn't know it all along is beyond me.
