run in with da po-po

Bad boy, bad bow, whatcha gonna do?

If you follow me on the twitter-er you already know this, but on Monday we discovered that A's car was broken into Sunday night/Monday morning. What a fun way to end the best day ever, right?! HA.

They tore apart the center console and ripped off the back A/C panel and the panel that the cup holders are in. All to steal what probably amounted to $10.00 in change. They left the golf clubs, checkbook, radar detector and iPhone accessories, though. So seriously, what kind of criminals were they?! Idiots, I tell ya. We think that they were these no-good little kids that live in the EXTREMELY shady neighborhood next to us. The police officer said they get called to their house all the time. 

We called the police to report it because my dad told me to. (Sidenote - my dad is a retired police office who now teaches criminal justice classes. Any police related thing I encounter usually means that I call him immediately and do whatever he tells me to do.)

Maybe it's because the Lafayette police are insanely corrupt (not exaggerating, I'm pretty sure the chief of police just got out of jail. And not because he just finished a day of working in the jail), but they were no help. Here's how the encounter went down.

Right after A called the report in, I told him to go to Target to get the supplies I forgot to get for dinner and that I would handle the police. He's my husband so I know all there is to know about the guy, ya know? Mr. Officer didn't appreciate that.

First he knocked on the wrong door. I happened to see him pull up from the window so I was able to walk downstairs and tell him he had the wrong door. Then when I said that A had to go run and get something real quick he (under his breath) said something about us being idiots. Hey Mr. Officer, next time you try and do that you should realize that you talk really loud and I have supersonic hearing.

Then I could tell that he was really mad that we had called him out to report this. When I mentioned that my dad told me to and he was a police officer, we went through the whole "oh who is your dad?" thing and I said he's in Houston. His response: "Oh, they report this kind of shit in Houston?" UH yes, yes they do. It's in the whole keeping the city safe thing you signed up to do.

After he gathered all of the plate info he went back to his car to put the report into the system. The car is registered under A's dad, so he had to manually enter in A's info. He insisted I was lying because he couldn't find anything for A in the system. Well of course you aren't going to find an Andre' Hebert when you search under Andrea Hebert. Smart cookie, that one.

He asked if A was skinny. I laughed and said that he could stand to lose a few pounds, but he's not fat. I guessed that he might be 200 pounds. He turned around to look me in the eye and said "way to make me feel great about myself, I'm 230." What do I say to that? Uhhh ha sorry? Maybe you should lose weight, too?

He needed more info so I gave him A's birthday and last 4 of his social and then he turned to look at me and said "is your husband a white man?" I lost it laughing. Just the way he asked it was hilarious and then when I said yes, he said "hey, you never know so you gotta ask." Maybe you should try Caucasian next time, buddy.

A finally got back and I came inside. As he started talking to A he said "your wife really knows a lot about you." A responded with "well I sure hope so!" Yes, that is a good thing Mr. Officer. A also asked him why they would pop off the consoles and in all seriousness he said "you don't really deal with the general population much, do you?" No, and I don't really care to.

But maybe he couldn't take me seriously because I looked like this.

LSU shirt, plaid PJ pants, crazy hair, no makeup, neon nails that strategically cover up Mount Kilimanjaro. CLASSY LADY!

In all seriousness, I have the utmost respect for police officers. They work extremely hard and EXTREMELY long hours to keep others safe while sacrificing family time. So thank one next time you see him (or her!) And there is no such thing as quota. Just a common confusing fact I'd like to set straight.

Also, I can't share this story and the fact that my dad was a police officer my whole life without sharing this video. Certain members of my family don't like to admit that it's my dad, but I find it hilarious and like to share so people can get a good laugh. Back story: this happened in 2005 and NO ONE in my family knew about it. (You'll understand after watching just why he wouldn't want to tell us.) A friend was looking around on Ebaum's World (holy flashback!) and saw this. She sent it to me (on AIM, iamsoold) because she thought it sounded like my dad. Somehow word got around my high school (I graduated with over 800 people, so it's not like I went to a small school were it was normal for something to get around that fast) and in physics one day a classmate came up to me. He said that after he heard about my dad's video, he mentioned it to his dad who was a sheriff for the county. (My dad was an officer for the city.) I wish this was a joke, but the county had been using the video as a training video. As in - WHAT NOT TO DO. The whole thing got leaked when one of his fellow officers happened upon the in car video and released it for some laughs. From what I know, it's been on VH1, David Letterman and Jay Leno. And now you get to enjoy it. Just please promise me that you won't think my dear daddy is an idiot after viewing this. He does not eat donuts everyday and he went to college - go noles. (And yes, I did used to write back to those asshole Youtube commenters whenever this was first posted. JERKS.) 

Funny, right? I'm probably going to get one of those adult content warning things after posting that. I promise he doesn't talk like that in real life.