uhm sir, I'm pregnant...

I could have titled this post so many other things, but imagining what my family is thinking while clicking on that made me go with that one.

Family- if you really think I would announce to the world that I was pregnant via my blog before I ever told you, ya cray. No baby is in this belly.

Moving on.

In May of 2011, A and I drove to Austin with my mom for my little sister's (then) boyfriend's graduation from UT. We like to travel, love Austin, love Cory and wanted to spend the weekend with my mom for her birthday. Wins all around.

We got there in time for lunch on Saturday and met Cory's family and my sister at the salt lick for some scrumptious BBQ. Finger lickin good, y'all. There was a break between lunch and graduation, so we did what every girl does when in Austin, went to the domain and shopped our little hearts out. What does this have to do with me being pregnant? Getting there, I promise. I have to properly set the scene.

If you've never been to the commencement ceremony at UT, I suggest you find a reason to go to one. I absolutely hate UT, but I was amazed by the ceremony. Pictures don't do it justice!

After the ceremony we met Cory's parents at their hotel for some drinks and to observe the bats. (Go on the bat tour in Austin!) And then, like the rest of the city, we went to 6th to properly celebrate.

It was packed. I've been plenty of times and even at the biker rally I had never seen that many people out. We got tired of standing around in packed bars, so we went to the iron cactus and someone had the genius idea to order these neon blue frozen concoctions. Except they were mango flavored. And made with everclear.

At one point a bartender came up to me and told me he would have to kick me out if I couldn't sit up. But sir, I was just resting because your stupid drink made my tummy hurt! I remember, clear as day, right when I sat up, I looked to my right and some girl ran into the kitchen and heaved right into the trash can. Did they kick her out? Of course not. Humph.

2 am rolls around and we venture out to find a cab. Along with the rest of the entire city.

3 am rolls around and we are still waiting on a cab. By this point all of us have to pee. That's no problem for the guys...find an alley and do your thing. A bit more complicated for the girls.

It got so bad that I knew I had to find someway to get into a bathroom. I clearly didn't think this out, but it worked. I grabbed my sisters silver ring and put it on my ring finger. Then I ran into this extremely swanky hotel (think Ritz Carlton) where I was, of course, stopped by the door guy.

Door guy: ma'am, only hotel guests are allowed in here.
Me: I'm so sorry, sir. I'm pregnant and my bladder is the size of a pea and my baby could be in danger if I don't pee.

He let me in. I mean, I poofed my stomach out and rubbed my belly and everything! I even planed out what I would say if he asked what in the hell a pregnant lady would be doing out on 6th street at 3 am. I was just being a super nice and supportive sister, sir! What I would have said if he asked me why my toungue was blue and why I reeked of alcohol, I have no clue. Maybe he just thought I was a really mad mother.

This memory resurfaced brought to you by this. Saw it on groupon yesterday. Kid. You. Not.

How do I use it?

GoGirl is easy to use, but standing to go to the bathroom is a new concept for most women. Here are a couple of tips to help you use GoGirl effectively. I suggest trying GoGirl at home, in the shower if possible, to master your technique. With a little practice you can simply unzip your fly and go to the bathroom without having to remove your pants.

How To Hold GoGirl

Correct

The best way to hold GoGirl is by using your thumb and middle finger, stretching from front to back. Because it's made of a medical-grade silicone, it's flexible and works with any body shape. Maintaining a seal on the back-end is key. It's best not to hold GoGirl from side-to-side.
Applying too much pressure on the sides can cause it to collapse, which can break the seal in the back.